At NextDayFlyers, we’re in the business of providing stunning printed business cards. We cater to people from all vocations and all walks of life, and as you can imagine, some of the businesses can get rather interesting. With that in mind, we put our heads together and tried to come up with some ideas for what might be the worst jobs ever. If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself on such a career path, your printed business cards might look something like this:
From Don Rickles to Lisa Lampanelli, insult comics are a cherished American institution. Even Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has legions of fans the world over. But as any great comedian knows, some crowds are more receptive than others, and there are certain venues where one’s well-intended humor might be met with less-than-glowing reception.
The problem with conventional crash test dummies is that you can’t actually kill them. With live human beings, this is never a problem. If the hottest new car on the market doesn’t pass the safety inspection, you’ll definitely know it…if only for the final remaining seconds of your life. And don’t even think about wearing a helmet, because we’re trying to simulate real-world scenarios here. Just take your collision like a pro.
Dentists already have one of the grossest jobs in existence, so why not add an element of danger? Cannibals are people too, and just because they eat human flesh doesn’t mean they should be denied top-notch dental care. Just be careful when treating those cavities. Fingers typically don’t grow back.
Dog food labels often boast about the deliciousness of the kibble, but who makes this important determination? Are there actually teams of taste testers who chow down on the latest dog food varieties and rate them on a scale of 1 to 10? You certainly can’t count on the dogs to accurately rate their food, as they aren’t the most discriminating consumers. Then again, human beings eat hamburgers with pink slime, so maybe there’s a little dog food quality specialist in us all.
Speaking of dogs, I would sure hate to haul a hot dog cart through a crowded dog park, especially on Wiener Dog Appreciation Day. If you’re going to sell concessions at a dog park, you should probably stick with a food that dogs find unappealing, like……okay, I’ve got nothing.
Experience the unforgettable sights, sounds, and labor camps that you’ll only find in beautiful North Korea. Okay, business is tough for North Korea travel agents right now, but I’m sure there are many great reasons to explore this illusive jewel of the east. Then again, maybe you should just stick with Disney World for your next vacation. The only torture you’ll have to endure there is It’s a Small World.
If you ask any nudist or naturist why they choose to live a life free from the fabric shackles that imprison us all, they’ll usually explain that nudism is extremely liberating, and perhaps that it puts everyone on a level playing field. I would imagine, though, that nudist colonies are less popular in the colder regions of our planet. Less popular, yes, but not necessarily non-existent.
And finally….yeah. I mean, what more is there to be said? If you choose this line of work, you better make sure to have a foolproof anesthetic. Otherwise, the mountain lion just might perform the procedure on you.
Order Printed Business Cards from NextDayFlyers
Hopefully you don’t make your living neutering mountain lions or mocking the real-life Sons of Anarchy, but no matter what your vocation, you’re going to need some sleek, eye-catching printed business cards to make the right contacts and the best impressions. At NextDayFlyers, our printed business cards are ultra thick and rendered in stunning high resolution. Check out the full array of options, and be the best dog-food quality specialist you can be!